We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
sarcasm needs its own font
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
