Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
