ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
