After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
