My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
