D3 body, D1 cock
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
