Ambien. No doubt about it.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
