I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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