I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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