I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
