covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
