I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Is it penis luge time yet?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
