I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
