Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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