you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
