I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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