P.S. I can't hear my feet
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
