I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
