Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
