the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
