You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
