OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
