Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
