Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
