Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
