At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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