C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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