Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize