im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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