even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
