So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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