I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
