I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
