R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
