ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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