i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
