I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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