Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
