Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
