let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
