Nicole vs. Life
there was a trapeze. enough said
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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