dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
