Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
