i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
