Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You need a sexual gate keeper
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
