i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
