you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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