So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Two words: nipple clamps
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