and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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