Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
