Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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