I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Terrible idea I love it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
