I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
