so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize