that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
