I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
