Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
