I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
