Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Green mimosas i think yes
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
